I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
