Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
