I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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