My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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