Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
