You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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