walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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