I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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