Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
