Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i now understand why vodka
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
