You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
dude. I can hear the air.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
