Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
