THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
