Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
