We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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