when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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