I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
