last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Can you repeat that, but with context?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
