where does the pee come out of this thing
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
