You just made me feel so damn special
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
