That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
