Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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