I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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