i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
