she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
