It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
