I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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