SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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