Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
