we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
