Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
