just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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