Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
