Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
