Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
