sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
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