Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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