The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
