Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
pop tarts are not kleenex
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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