You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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