Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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