There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
where are my eyebrows?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
