so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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