I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
