who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
