my soul wont recognize me after tonight
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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