Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
