end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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