I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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