Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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